Don’t Think of Me as Just a Clown Who Dances

TL: Bogdi
ED: Cassian

My cheeks were burning.
The slap from earlier had left a stinging sensation.

The collar that had been grabbed was in tatters.
When I checked, I found out that the button was about to come off.
It must’ve been grabbed with great force.

 

“Phew… I’m tired.”

 

With a wry smile on my face, I slumped to the ground.

I was trembling, probably because I’d done something out of character.

 

But I was glad.

I was relieved to see that Kirari was looking ahead once more.

 

“…Why?”

 

As I breathed a sigh of relief, Mary, who must’ve been watching us the entire time, spoke to me with a sour expression on her face.

 

“Why didn’t you just accept her?”

 

She appeared to be dissatisfied with the outcome.

 

“I didn’t want you to go above and beyond… This wasn’t how things were supposed to end.”

 

Yes, it was.

In your scenario, Kirari was supposed to like me.

 

“I didn’t expect Ryoma to confess to me so soon, so my plans went a little awry… However, that didn’t matter.
Kirari’s rejection could have been a foregone conclusion.
But if she had continued to fall in love with Kotaro, everything would’ve gone exactly as I predicted.”

 

As a matter of fact, it was about to happen.

 

After the play was over, Mary was called over by Ryuzaki and received a confession from him with the understanding that Kirari was following them.

 

She then withheld her answer and all the while brought me to the back of the school building.
I comforted Kirari, who was devastated at the scene, and told her to accept the situation.
If I had done as I was told, Kirari would have became dependent on me.

 

But she didn’t.

Because Kirari did not pick me.

 

…No, let me rephrase that.

I didn’t dare to let her choose me.

 

“Why did you go with those words? You made fun of Kirari… as if you were deliberately trying to offend her.”

 

“…Well, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

 

I brushed it off.

Mary’s face contorted in displeasure.

 

“I instructed you to ‘accept Kirari,’ remember?”

 

“I tried to accept her, just as you’ve said.
Although Kirari on the other hand, refused to do so.”

 

I did exactly as I was told.

I followed Mary’s instructions, albeit in a slightly different manner.

 

“If she had simply flirted with me in that way, I would have accepted it… Well, I’m very sorry to hear that.
It seems like Kirari didn’t think someone of my caliber was good enough?”

 

“…I expected you to accept her the same way you did with Azusa.”

 

Hmm, it seems that Mary had miscalculated.

She had been mistaken in thinking that I was dancing in the palm of her hand the entire time.

 

“I assumed Kotaro was one of those people.”

 

“They’re not… the same.
Azusa and Kirari are completely different.”

 

Please don’t think of me as the type of person who would accept anyone as long as they were a girl.

I am not Ryoma Ryuzaki.

 

“Azusa is my younger sister.
Although we are not related by blood, we’re family who are connected by our hearts.
As a result, I can forgive her when she hurts me, and comfort her when she is hurt, because she is the person who is the closest to me, so it’s only natural.
right?”

 

I’ve said it before, but I want to make this clear.

Kirari is a stranger.

 

“There is no reason for me to interfere in Kirari’s life.
We’re not family, and we’re no longer even friends.
And yet, you’re telling me that I should accept her unconditionally… I’m not a saint, okay?”

 

I’m not so naive as to believe I can save people at random.

Because I am a despicable person.

 

“So, I tried.
I gave her a reason and a few conditions.
But Kirari rejected it, that’s all there is to it.
Mary may be reluctant to accept the end result, but… unfortunately, people in real life do not always do what you want them to.”

 

I told her in a flat tone.

Nonetheless, I gave up on trying to accept the situation from the start and instead tried to antagonize Kirari, but I’m not stupid enough to admit it.

 

I’m sure Mary understands what I’m trying to accomplish.
I’m trying to get her to admit her mistake and take back the reins.
I didn’t let her plans go as smoothly as she had hoped.

 

“Tch…”

 

I chuckled inwardly at Mary, who unusually didn’t hide her irritation.

I wanted to see that look on her face.

 

Don’t expect everything to go your way, okay?