Chapter 53 – Secret (3)

March 18th, 2023

I experienced confusion due to unexpected situations that occurred one after another, but I was able to come back to my dorm and recover.
As I lay on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, the fact that my head had cooled down slowly from being hot was helpful.

However, my mind was still tangled up.
Today’s behavior from Cecily and Marie following us, in particular, made for a complicated day.
I blinked my eyes and let out a deep sigh while looking at the ceiling.

‘Did I become too complacent…’

Unlike the royal siblings who created an atmosphere that was more like an interrogation, Cecily encouraged me to reveal the secret myself.
It was an attitude that respected my position, not a threat.

Furthermore, Cecily revealed that she was ready to dedicate everything to me, the author of Xenon’s Biography.
It was not a joke, but rather a determination and sincerity that contained her own will.

However, forcibly leading my hand to touch her chest, and even further, putting my finger in her mouth could be interpreted in various ways.
I would have to hear directly from Cecily to fully understand, but to others (especially Marie), it could be seen as her tempting me with her body.

At that time, my emotions were so overwhelming that it was difficult for me to fully understand the situation, but now as I reflect on it, I realize that there were parts where I was too complacent. 

Of course, I cannot determine if Cecily intended to seduce me.
I plan to confirm this when we meet separately the next day.

‘Indeed, I have lived my life with my mind often empty’

I can be said to lack a sense of reality and social skills.
In my past life, I isolated myself after my parents passed away in an accident while I was in college.
And in this life, up until entering the academy, I have been living at home.

As a result, I tend to let life pass me by like water flowing down a river.
Which means that I am unable to cope with uncertain situations.

However, I have come to realize clearly with Leort, Rina, and even Cecily that my worth is much greater than what I think. 

Although I do not know to what extent, it is clear that I exceed beyond the exceptional level, to the point where even the princess of Helium would offer herself.

‘Fortunately, the royal family and Cecily are one thing, but if this goes on, a real crisis will arise later.
Even my father won’t be able to stop it.’

There is a reliable backup in the form of my father, but even that will crumble helplessly before the power of the “nation”.
Therefore, it is right to grow my own ability to overcome the situation rather than relying on my father’s abilities.

My family, along with my father, said they would always help me, but I can’t rely on them for everything.
If this isn’t pampering, what the hell is it?

Therefore, it is best to deal with situations appropriately with my own abilities and, if it seems impossible, to seek the help of my family.
My family will respect my opinion.

As I went through these thoughts, I felt like I had been foolish all this time.
Rather than living thoughtlessly, it seems like having some calculating aspects will make the future easier.

‘And Marie…’

I can now be sure as of today.
Marie has feelings for me beyond just a crush.

From following me and Cecil, to even intervening directly, anyone with even a little sense can figure that out.

And my reaction to that was…

‘…Should we start by holding hands?’

My face started turning red at a rapid pace.
I also have feelings for Marie as a person, and as a potential love interest.

I can’t say that our first meeting was great, but as we spent more time together, I naturally developed those feelings.
While her beautiful face was a factor, I appreciated her personality that was far from being snobbish.

Above all, Marie didn’t even expect that I was the author of Xenon’s Biography.
Unlike Cecily, she likes me as a person.

However, the biggest obstacle is her background.
Marie’s family is not just an ordinary noble family like me, but the Requilis Duchy, which holds power second only to the royal family.

The relationship between the emperor and the duke is not necessarily bad, but it’s not necessarily good either.
They fiercely compete and keep each other in check to maintain the balance of the Minerva Empire.
If something goes wrong, the empire could be thrown into chaos.

‘Marie probably doesn’t care, but…’

Even if Marie knew that I was the author of Xenon’s Biography, she would only be surprised and not react beyond that.
This is for sure since I’ve spent a lot of time with her.

However, it’s uncertain whether her family will leave me alone even if she does.
So even if I have a relationship with Marie, I should avoid speaking about it until she notices.

‘I need to assess my worth first.’

Newspapers have been talking about changing the paradigm of novels, fulfilling the wishes of demons, reestablishing theology, and so on.

Although there have been various evaluations, it is still insufficient.
As someone who can’t read the situation, I need to have a better understanding of my worth to prevent a disaster.

‘Who would have thought that a single piece of writing could lead to this…’

I let out a frustrated sigh and got up from the bed.
As I mentioned before, I’m not very good at sensing reality, but after experiencing various incidents, I felt the need to change my mindset.

While thinking about this, I sat at my desk and opened the second drawer.

As soon as I opened it, I saw a pile of thick manuscript paper.
But it’s not an ordinary manuscript paper.
It’s the first edition of Xenon’s Biography that I wrote with great care.

Originally, I had entrusted the first edition to the publishing company, but when Xenon’s Biography became a huge hit beyond their expectations, they returned it to me.

From the publisher’s perspective, if they continued to hold onto it, they would be in big trouble.
So, for safety reasons, they had no choice but to send it back.

‘I wonder how much value this really has…’

At first glance, it looks like an unremarkable manuscript paper.
But I wondered how it would be perceived by those in high positions.

My body itself may have its own value, but the value of the first edition would be even more considerable.
Especially for the Ters Kingdom, which is called a cultural powerhouse, it could be a priceless treasure.

However, as I mentioned earlier, it’s essential to know how much value I have.
And the person who is suitable to ask this question is…

‘Leort and Rina, and Marie… something like that?’

Cecily represents the demon’s position, so let’s pass on that, and the most complicated relationship is undoubtedly with humans.
Since the protagonist of Xenon’s Biography is a human, the most enthusiastic race about it were humans, and the race that is striving to find me the most are also humans.

So, the dignitaries on the human side would know the value of the first edition better than anyone else.
While thinking about the three people in my head, I squinted my eyes slightly. 

‘Marie is the most trustworthy among them, as expected.’

Unlike other people, approaching Marie with a specific purpose is somewhat daunting.
As always, I want to laugh, chat, and enjoy a normal life with her.
It’s like a kind of sanctuary.

Since the situation has become like this due to my complacency, it would be better to explain the situation to her at least.

Of course, Marie would receive me with a happy heart, no matter who I am.
However, I need to be even more careful since she would receive me with an open heart.
Now that I have learned what kind of feelings she has for me, I don’t want to cause her any harm.

‘For now…’

It would be better to write a letter to my father.
Only after explaining my mindset to my father, would it be best to take action.

I put the first edition back in the drawer and started writing a letter to my father.
If I suddenly decide to take action on my own, he would be surprised, so I need to explain the situation to him.

‘I shouldn’t think that there won’t be any more incidents.’

Various incidents have already occurred, and time cannot be reversed.
And by definition, secrets should only be known by oneself.

‘Instead of just trying to avoid them, let’s prepare for them.’

I started writing a letter to my father with a serious heart, detailing everything that had happened and how we should be prepared for what might come next.

*****

A room where not even a single ray of light entered.

Cecily, a demon with red eyes, lay on a soft bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.

Her black hair was flowing on the bed and her red eyes shining vividly in the darkness, creating a picturesque scene.

She slowly reached out her hand towards the ceiling.
Her hand, which had been trained for decades, was full of calluses.

“… …”

Cecily blinked her eyes a couple of times while looking at her hand.
At the same time, she recalled the events of the day.

It was an ordinary day like any other, but today was a bit special.
This was because she met the author of the legendary Xenon’s Biography, whom she had been longing to meet for so long, and who was also a benefactor of demons.

Of course, evidence must be presented to prove that he was the author of Xenon’s Biography, but Cecily could sense it intuitively.

Isaac, the red-haired boy, was surely the author of Xenon’s Biography, whom she had been eagerly hoping to meet, and was the one she had finally met today.

Up until she gently coaxed it out of him, Cecily couldn’t help but be surprised when Isaac confirmed that he was really the author of Xenon’s Biography.
Most people had speculated that the author of Xenon’s Biography was an elderly sage.

Isaac was a bright and youthful guy who wasn’t even 20 years old… Cecily couldn’t believe it.
She thought he was an adult, not a child.

‘Isaac…’

Cecily remembered the persecution that the demons had suffered over the years.
A hundred years is a long time even for demons.

During that time, the demons did not receive good looks from other races.
No, they were even subject to hateful and contemptuous looks.

Fortunately, she was a princess of Helium, so she did not directly receive such looks.
But other demons did.
Demons who went out into society received nothing but tragedy.

As a result, Helium could not take even a single step diplomatically and had no choice but to adopt a coercive and closed position.
Even the fact that Helium had recently started diplomatic relations with the Ters Kingdom was an incredible achievement.

‘All of this is because of Isaac…’

Thanks to the boy with the red hair, Isaac.
Cecily put her hand on her chest as his face came to mind.

Thump-thump-thump-

Her heart pounded roughly like it was broken.
She seemed to be excited without even realizing it.

She tried to calm down her throbbing heart, but it was not easy.
In fact, her heart pounded even more when she became aware of it.

Is this emotion truly love, or is it admiration? As someone who was unfamiliar with this type of feeling since birth, Cecily found it difficult to grasp. 

But one thing was certain.

‘My benefactor…’

This emotion was directed towards Isaac, the author of Xenon’s Biography.

“Sigh…”

Cecily let out a deep breath and closed her eyes.
She then remembered what Marie had said to her earlier today.

Mari had stated that her reason for liking Isaac was not because of a secret, but simply because she liked Isaac as a person.
Unlike Cecily, she didn’t care about petty secrets.

This statement was enough to shock Cecily, as it made her realize her own mistake earlier.

‘I almost made a huge mistake.’

She was about to commit a grave offense towards her benefactor.
Her actions could have been interpreted as giving everything to him, when in reality, there was room for a different interpretation.

Was it right to act that way towards the benefactor? Absolutely not.

These thoughts made Cecily see Isaac in a different light.
He wasn’t just a cute little brother, but had become the person who fulfilled the demon’s greatest wish.

Cute younger sibling and the benefactor of a demon.
At that time, she made a mistake because these two things were combined.
But not anymore.

“Ah…”

What should I call this feeling of true gratitude and love?

Respect? Yeah.
Maybe it can be called respect.

When that thought came to mind, Cecily tightly held hands and shook her body.
She wanted to run to him right away and express her sincere gratitude, and tell him that she was always ready, so to just ask her for anything.

But since she had already made a mistake once, she needed to approach him carefully now. 

There was a girl with white hair sitting next to him, so she would act as usual on the surface, but reveal her true feelings when they were alone.

“Just wait a little longer… Benefactor… Ah! This is not the right time.”

As she twisted her body and mumbled, she suddenly got up from the bed.
Then, she sat on a chair at the desk and took out a piece of paper.

“First, let’s write a letter… But how can I send it to the boys’ dormitory? Would it look strange?”

Cecily began to write happily while pondering this question.

 

Translators note:

A chapter full of character development, or at least a promise of it.